Your babe rocks. She arrives at your spot after poker night clutching a take-away Wimpy breakfast and a fistful of Grandpa. She lovingly refills the chip bowl when your mates come over to cheer on the Boks. But after watching a good episode of Scrubs and the lolly-poppingly hot Dr Elliot, she’s a bit reluctant for a game of Doctor, Doctor. No fear, guy! There are ways to transform your darling cupcake from regular old vanilla frosting to a decadent, death-by-chocolate sexual goddess! The secret is to make your honey more aware of her own desires and feelings, which in turn gives her the confidence to throw you down on the floor and rack up a few carpet burns! With these handy tips, you can coax her out of that delicate little shell and into the awesome world of animalesque ghoenage!
STEP ONE – DESIRE HOT SPOTS
There are some less-than-obvious situations in which your honey feels all fired-up – and she may not even know it! After working up a good sweat at the gym, for instance, she’s feeling sexy and in control thanks to feel-good endorphins!
Another horny time is when she’s angry, which explains why make-up sex is often nuclear. Early on in a first date you can also be sure. If she likes you, she’ll be whistling like a kettle on a stove! And if she’s dressed up to party, she’s looking hot, feeling hot and she wants you to notice!
If you identify these moments, you are more likely to set her wheels of desire in motion. Others to look out for are when she’s had good news, when she’s jealous and when she’s ovulating, 14 days into her lady-cycle!
STEP TWO – AAAH… AMBIENCE!
The average oke has done the old candlelight-and-rose petals scenario to death. While a romantic gesture like this is appreciated, your girlfriend may feel like you’re trying to pressure her into putting on a performance worthy of the Pussycat Dolls.
The real reason you need to think of erotic ambience is simple: ladies are easily distracted! You may be snogging up a storm, but she’s tuned into the grunts of WWE Smackdown, or wondering why she hasn’t heard the microwave “ping!” with that chicken she’s defrosting.
So turn off the TV, make sure your pad’s not a war zone and sort out anything else that’ll take her attention away from you. It’s that easy. Putting out a few romantic decorations like candles won’t hurt, either, just keep it simple!
STEP THREE – SWEET TALK
Verbal reinforcement means telling a girl what you find attractive about her instead of just patting her on her arse. This will immediately boost her confidence and make her all the friskier when she’s around a man who clearly appreciates her. There are three important rules here:
1. While it’s okay to compliment her on her boobs, bum, legs and eyes – try and be less obvious and point out her silky hair, or her incredibly charming laugh.
2. Be specific! “Nice ass,” isn’t nearly as effective as, “I love the way your bum fills those new Levi’s”. Your honey likes to know that you really notice her.
3. Don’t wait until you have her pinned against the shower door to drop a compliment. Bust ’em out when she least expects it and she’ll know you mean it!
STEP FOUR – NOW FOCUS!
As we pointed out before, your honey’s mind has a tendency to wander instead of focusing on the moment. To keep her thoughts away from what’s happening in 7de Laan and firmly on your lovemaking, try this nifty little trick! Stand her in front of the biggest mirror you can find in the house and tell her to watch what you’re going to do to her. Then start gently touching her. It’ll be incredibly erotic for her to watch her own reaction to your touches. It will make her more aware of what you’re doing and also more aware of her own feelings. She may well respond by trying to outdo you. And that means kinky moves you recently thought only happened in porn!
So, gents, off to the bedroom and the full-length mirror!
STEP FIVE – KISS, KISS… BANG, BANG!
Rarely do female fantasies involve rampant shagging in the boardroom. Well maybe some of them do… but that’s after the two characters in her mind finally share a passionate lip lock to the sound of a crashing orchestral climax in the background.
A kiss is a demonstration of your feelings, which is why they range from a lukewarm peck on Grandma’s cheek to a sneaky snog in the broom closet with a babe you fancy. Begin by brushing your lips against hers lightly, just once. Then move back in to press your lips gently to hers, softly darting your tongue against her bottom lip until her mouth parts. Now deepen the kiss – be sure to avoid any lizard-like darting or spin-cycle swirling.
The real secret is to kiss her unexpectedly, leave her breathless and just leave it at that. Then it’s up to her to take the initiative!
STEP SIX – PROLONGED FOREPLAY
Foreplay: for most guys it’s the community service of sex. What you may not realise is that foreplay is not restricted to the first four minutes before you take the plunge – it can begin four hours before. Heck, the day before, even! Here is a list of foreplay moves women love:
- Reliving those high school years and making out for ages on the couch.
- When it can’t actually lead to anything – like sneaking a hand up her skirt at the movies!
- A delicious, long back massage where she stays “safely” on her stomach…
STEP SEVEN – MAGIC HANDS
Like “verbal reinforcement”, another term conjured up by sex therapists is “outercourse”. Yes, that’s as opposed to intercourse. Remember that magic scene in 40 Days And 40 Nights where exotic hottie Shannyn Sossamon gets her rocks off being stroked up and down her luscious body with nothing but flower petals? Powerful stuff! And maybe a little gay, but many women enjoy being lightly stroked and touched. It really turns them on.
The majority of women really do prefer soft, tender touches and stroking all over their body during foreplay. That’s because it’s undemanding and very relaxing for your babe. Remember, she needs to be relaxed to get action. Try a technique called d’araignee (that’s “spider legs” for the non-Frenchies out there) where you lightly run your fingertips all over her body, slowly making your way southward…
STEP EIGHT – FANTASY SCENARIOS
The best way to get a shy babe to share her sexual fantasies is to get her to write them down or, better yet, ask her to pop them in an email to you! That way she won’t feel awkward when telling you and she will have some time to mull things over.
Spelling out her naughty thoughts creates an atmosphere of intimacy that’s downright smokin’ for her – which is more important than what she actually writes. Don’t be surprised if her fantasies involve mild bondage or “there’s a burglar in the house” scenarios. These are often misinterpreted. When a woman fantasises about being in male-dominant sexual encounters, it’s rarely out of a desire for a rougher hand, but more a case of the man taking control so he is responsible for her orgasm, and she’s not under pressure to perform. As you coax out her sex kitten side, don’t be surprised if her fantasies increasingly involve her taking a more dominant role in the bedroom!
STEP NINE – BABE-FRIENDLY PORN
Women get turned on by porn too! Just hold off on the gang-bang anal flicks. For a sexy new twist, try reading her some erotic literature. You don’t even have to fork out for a Mills & Boon paperback. Visitwww.scarletmagazine.co.uk and browse under “Cliterature” for some quality writing. Also check outliterotica.com and Oystersandchocolate.com for more inspiration. Better yet, find a quiet cubicle at the office and read a particularly juicy snippet to her over the phone. She’ll be in a frenzy of lust by the time she gets home!
STEP TEN – TOP LADY POSITIONS
Now that your babe’s ready to go, keep these woman-pleasing positions in mind when she’s ripping your T-shirt off. If your girlfriend knows that she’s in for a bangin’ good time each time you two tango, she’s more likely to initiate sex. Remember, what feels good for you, doesn’t always feel so earth-shattering for her. You don’t need to be a Kama Sutra expert; any position that stimulates her clitoris is a winner.
- Simple, yet effective, is ye olde missionary, with you on top and a pillow beneath her bottom. You’re rubbing up against her love nubbin and hitting her G-spot!
- Another is “queen of the castle” – your babe riding you on top, which puts her in the driver’s seat in achieving her orgasm.
- Reverse cowgirl is much the same, but she faces backwards and can work her clitoris herself… more power to your babe, more action for you!
- Doggy style allows her to enjoy deeper penetration if you’re not exactly built like Tommy Lee in the trouser department and leaves her hands free to roam. Plus, it gives you a view of the action!
- Sitting up and leaning your back against the headboard, or sitting in a chair with her in your lap facing you is a sure thing. Not only can your girl rub up against your stomach and pubic bone, but you’re eye level with each other – making for intense sex!
Now, guys, go forth and unlock her inner minx!
First published in the FHM April 2007 issue.
Photographs: Adam Taylor
Words: Stacey Maree