Hacking the grid #6

FHM’s resident NFL enthusiast unravels the mysteries of gridiron/American football so he isn’t the only Saffer waking up at 1am to watch the Superbowl in February.

As promised in Hacking the grid #5, this week we’re focusing on one of the NFL most successful divisions, the AFC North:  

Baltimore Ravens

Hometown Baltimore, Maryland  

Stadium M&T Bank Stadium  

Head Coach John Harbaugh

The AFC North is defined by the Ravens/Steelers rivalry because both teams are defined by their workman-like commitment to defense. And although there isn’t a “D” in Baltimore Ravens, the Ravens put the “D” in defense. Though there are a few questions marks hanging around their 2009 defensive prowess after losing Defensive Coordinator Rex Ryan, influential MLB Bart Scott and Safety Jim Leonhard, resigning face-of-the-franchise MLB Ray Lewis is probably the best thing the Ravens could have done. Yes, the team will probably make the post season again, but that’s only because the Bengals and Browns haven’t significantly upped their game. QB Joe Flacco will find his second year in the NFL a lot tougher than his breakout season and we won’t be surprised if he slips below Kyle Boller in the pecking order.

The Ravens have a passionate legion of fans who love nothing more than seeing their team inflict pain and overpower another team. The Sharks are a good local equivalent for the Ravens organization and fans.

Cincinnati Bengals   

Hometown Cincinnati, Ohio  

Stadium Paul Brown Stadium  

Head Coach Marvin Lewis

The Bengals have great playoffs potential on the attacking side of the ball. They’re a well coached unit with great downfield weapons in their newly acquired WR Laveranues Coles and his out-spoken partner Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. But the diva WR Chad Ochocinco is also one of their potential weak points. The difference between the Chad Johnson that the NFL loved and Chad Ochocinco (he changed his name before the 2008 season) is that Chad Ochocinco talks the talk, but doesn’t put up the numbers. And then he suddenly wanted a trade to a team that will satisfy his Superbowl dreams and elevate his status to future Hall Of Famer. If the Bengals can get their pouting WR to work well for the team, QB Carson Palmer will have a better chance of leading the embattled franchise to the promised land.

The Bengals are a team with enormous potential and they frustrate their fans by not living up to that tag. The Free State’s Cheetahs are tormenting their fans in much the same way in the Super 14 because their Currie Cup form doesn’t translate well to the southern hemisphere’s premier club competition. But like their feline fan counterparts in Cincinnati, they keep going to the stadium in the hope of a better tomorrow.

Cleveland Browns   

Hometown Cleveland, Ohio  

Stadium Cleveland Browns Stadium  

Head Coach Eric Mangini

Before we discuss the Cleveland Browns, there’s something you need to know about Cleveland sports...

And that’s the bottom line. So maybe new coach Eric Mangini can turn things around for the Browns, but after he ruined the Jets’ post season chances by not benching the obviously injured Brett Favre, don’t bet on it. They’ll be the AFC whipping boys again – barring and act of God. And that whole thing about LeBron James being the Cleveland Cavaliers’ saviour? Uhm... let’s just say that as great as “King James” is, he couldn’t overcome “Superman” and the Orlando Magic in the NBA conference finals. The Cleveland curse is real.

Cleveland residents and sports fanatics prove that there are worse things than supporting the Proteas.  

Pittsburgh Steelers   

Hometown Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Stadium Heinz Field

Head Coach Mike Tomlin

The six-time Superbowl champions are the most successful team in the NFL and will continue to be that because the organization is built on a very sound foundation of ideals and philosophies. When the Pittsburgh steel industry collapsed in the Seventies, the Steelers were the only beacon of hope for the recently out-of-work residents. Four Vince Lombardis in six years set the tone in the early days and the dynasty continues with the current crop of world champions. Mike Tomlin is the youngest Superbowl-winning coach with his 2009 triumph and the charismatic coach did well by not dismantling the core of his championship-winning team. And with QB Ben Roethlisberger still leading this team, expect another strong run from the Steelers this season.

Pittsburgh’s Terrible Towel (a yellow sweat towel that Steeler’s fans all seem to own) wielding Steeler Nation are a passionate group of supporters who are usually born into the Steelers way of life. If the Blue Bulls wore black and yellow, they and their painted-blue fans would be the Pittsburgh Steelers.

That's all for now sportsfans, next week is the turn of the AFC South.